I need a new pair of boots so that I can run off into the sunset.

Joyously, you told me.

Joyously, I moved my cheeks upwards in an attempt of a smile.

But painfully, my gut wrenched and churned as the words reached my ears.

Spite me you did.

Knew it, you didn’t.

The truth be told to you, pales in to what it was meant to mean towards you.

That is because maybe, you were blinded by your own happiness.

Or maybe, the truth be told, was never the truth.

The truth is only etched right in the deep walls of the heart.

This truth awaits you, for one day, should misery befall you, should you lose what you should never lose, be comforted by this very truth.

For someone awaits you. For someone will always want to wish you love and many joyful smiles and joyful tears for many years.

Someone willing to be what your heart craves for.

For it is strongly believed by this person that it had all along been meant to be.

For this person, would stand fast. Would tarry. Would wait in hopes of being that privileged one.

For now, I shall wear the jolly boots, and run fast.

The Wonders!

I guess I’m really bored sick, so I came up with the idea of exploring the places I had been to less often on foot and alone. So immediately what came to my mind was the Bencoolen, Little India area. So I was all gung ho and packed up and went down to Bugis Junction first to have my lunch. There after I proceeded through this route:

From Bugis Junction to Bugis Village, to Albert Street, to Bencoolen Street, down to Sunshine Plaza, back up to Wilkie road, to Mackenzie Road, went to Sheares, down Serangoon Road, past Tekka Mall( where it started to storm), down into Syed Alwi road, crossing Mustafa Centre, up Verdun Road (because the rest of Syed Alwi Road was flooded so could not cross), to Kitchener Road, into Tyrwhitt Road, past Allenby Road, crossing King George’s avenue, into French Road, hitting Kallang Road, past the ICA Building, past Crawford Centre up to Beach Road army market, got harrased by shop keepers, left in a hurry down Beach Road past Jalan Sultan, Sultan Gate, Bussorah Street, Arab street, Haji lane, Tan Quee Lan Street, Liang Seah street, Middle Road, Purvis Street, Seah Street, and back into Starbucks at City Hall all wet and freezing. so I got hot chocolate.

This was what I noted down in my iphone first. Yeah so i went all around exploring the area, looking at new sights and sounds. I nearly went into the Hindu temple, but I just stood outside to see while they were conducting some sermons I believe. Then it started to rain heavily and I could only walk in the five foot ways where I squeezed in with like minded people who sought shelter too. Occasionally I got harassed by massage palour owners to come in for those 22 dollar massages, which made me walk even faster. I carried on the journey through these paths and got soaked further and further as I crossed the un-sheltered lanes that ran perpendicular to these five foot ways. The atmosphere at Mustafa centre was booming as I noticed hoards of people depositing their bags before entering into the building. I noticed all sorts of people hung out in that area. The usual suspects were the Indians, foreign workers probably. Chinese Nationals, Bangladeshis, Filipinos, Africans, and our locals. The only way you could tell they were locals is probably by the way they spoke. I got stucked in this area for a while as I could not cross the road. The rain had caused the road ahead to be flooded up to the ankles. So I had to make my way around it to get back on path. I walked past lots of old shop houses, permeating with nostalgia. It was almost like I was in another country, the old tyre shops, the spice factories, Indian fortune tellers and run down coffee shops selling great smelling mutton soup and fried oyster cakes.

By the time I made it back to Raffles City, I was soaking wet and cold as hell. Nevertheless, happy with a sense of accomplishment to see the unique sights of Singapore, apart from the usual Orchard or city areas.

Warmth

Amidst the coldness of this world, in the absence of justice throughout this world, intervened killings of innocent individuals, and the whole bleakness and negativity of human life, there still lies warmth. A warmth unlike any other. It is though with pity that this warmth was found about a century ago.

Some say innately, humans are animals and that we cannot escape from our most primal behaviours. Our basic needs need to be fulfilled and we would do anything, just about any darn thing to get it. To kill, maim, cheat, steal and so on… Placed in the most horrible situations, most would do the most horrible things to get out of it. Even if it meant having to render their morals voided.

It is known that the first world war was one of mankind’s greatest catastrophes. Where men crossed swords and bayonets, lined up and dug in trenches, braving the unforgiving weather, braving hunger and braving bullets, bombs and blades. Men from both sides engaged in bloody battles, some even ended up in crazed hand to hand combat, gutting each other, wanting to see each other draw their last breath so that they themselves could breathe their next. Those were the darkest days of human history, their eyes could only see two colours, grey and the crimson red of blood.

However, I guess just like how we can’t generalize people, we can’t generalize humans based on their deeds. In those trenches lined with barbed wires with the bodies of the enemy strung over it and the shell craters filled with the dismembered bodies of men, many of them young initially but aged with the weariness of war, there came that day. Christmas day. This day many of us today take for granted as merely a holiday. A day of relaxation, the comforting feel of hot chocolate and marshmallows over an oak wood fire. But for the men wearing the uniforms of their country, December 25th 1914 meant much more than a holiday to them.

Both sides laid down their rifles and blades. On Christmas eve night, German troops began decorating the area around their trenches in the region of Ypres, Belgium, for Christmas. They began by placing candles on trees, then continued the celebration by singing Christmas carols, most notably Stille Nacht (Silent Night). The British troops in the trenches across from them responded by singing English carols.

The two sides continued by shouting Christmas greetings to each other. Soon thereafter, there were calls for visits across the “No Man’s Land” where small gifts were exchanged — whisky, jam, cigars, chocolate, and the like. The soldiers exchanged gifts, sometimes addresses, and drank together. The artillery in the region fell silent that night. The truce also allowed a breathing spell where recently-fallen soldiers could be brought back behind their lines by burial parties. Proper burials took place as soldiers from both sides mourned the dead together and paid their respects.

The truce spread to other areas of the lines, and there are many stories of football matches between the opposing forces.

The next day, both sides went back into their trenches, and the savagery of human behaviour continued for the next 3 years and for many many more years in various wars that humans never seem to be bad at creating.

However, there was warmth, for a while. For Christmas  meant something more to them than just another day to continue on this bitter, meaningless fight.

With Much Reluctance

You can say it was up to me whether to remember or not. But I guess at least to remember what was good, to revere it will I write this.

It is official, it has been one year. 29th of November. It doesn’t really take a genius to know what I’m talking about. It was that fateful decision that I made on this day last year that probably dictated what was to happen this year. My God, never did I know that one simple action, masked in a facade of bliss could have such a devastating impact. Horror, what horror.

What has changed? I guess it’s my whole outlook on life. Maybe the entire, maybe just some aspects. Nevertheless, I have been a more bitter person. I can hardly see the world for what it is. Always would I go a further step to think about what people do, or the likelihood of any positivity. Making that decision on this day last year had indeed initially laid a veil over my eyes. I could never see beyond my own happiness that was never meant to have lasted. Throughout that period of time, I had ignored friends, ignored my family, ignored my passions, my lifestyle. Dedicating my life to a means that would reach no end. When the shit hit the fan, I would have realized that I have ruined my life through and through.

It has been a bitter fight to remove myself from this rut. I guess there are some lessons to learn. That probably the most important thing is your own happiness. Even if it’s for others. My point is that one must make himself well, before he can seek to make others well. And probably to take everything with seriousness, but with a pinch of salt.

This is probably the last time I would write a thing on this matter, I won’t want to do a two year remembrance, three year remembrance and so on. It’s just too juvenile. I have better things to look forward to. People expect better of me, and I would fulfill that faith.

Never would I mop, but neither would I forget. For deep down, it will always remain as that stubborn scar you can never get rid of.

That is all.

Listening to…

This Will Destroy You’s eponymous album of year 2008

Is it me, or usually good Post Rock bands would always have a shot at having their music aired on television, be it commercials for movies, consumer products or just being played as background music for some show on TV? Cus, TWDY had their music played on the trailer for “Taking of Pelham 1 2 3″ and also was on two of the episodes of CSI Miami. Well, it kinda underscores the demand for their music. No doubt ever so prevalant is this excellence in music for their 2008 album “This Will Destroy You”.

The style of TWDY has been, and will always be, strength. The power placed in their music is amazing. It’s almost like getting awed by the beauty of an atom bomb explosion! Amidst the sometimes shockingly epic and loud parts, their music is nonetheless fraught with emotion.

The first track, “A Three Legged Workhorse” calls for an epic opening to the album. The song takes on a skillful use of a single line, and utilizes progression to add to the power of this one line giving it an impending feel of the colossal strength in the song that is to come. Almost like a play, the climax later pulls away into a different line, backed by the war mongering feel of the drums, playing only with the toms.

Villa Del Refugio, the second song, acts as a bridge to the continuation of the album. The song is an abstract piece, making use of mass static noises, guitar delays and probably some E Bow playing. Personally, I’m not a fan of this track, but it acts as a good link if you want to listen to the album as a whole. It would then do well in helping to tell the “story” of the album.

Threads, is one of my favourite pieces in the whole album. It has a very pleasing start to the song. I believe it down the bones that this song is a very good piece to start with if you want to take a liking to listening Post Rock. It’s neither too harsh, nor weak. Too abstract nor simple. The flow of the song is simply excellent as they push the song in one sitting. The song an unconventional structure unlike the usual, “Verse”, “chorus”, “Verse” kind of order. It’s like the song tells a story. Of course, that’s a very prevalent characteristic of Post Rock music. Nonetheless, it excels and creating this wonderful piece. My favourite part of the song is at the 4.30 mark where an especially emotionally charged line hits me right in! Therefore, it is one of my most recommended pieces of music to listen to

Leather Wings is a tone down piece, where just a simple line, is accompanied by the strong and majestic sounding drums playing in a military fashion. Don’t be fooled, because the song although toned down never did lack that endearing feel. I can almost feel it being used for some good ol’ war movie where the soldiers leave their families and this would be the silent part where they exchange their final words of love and the family’s longing feel of their husband’s, son’s or brother’s return. Indeed an emotional track, the band makes good use of the strength of the previous song to draw listeners into the calmness of this track.

The Mighty Rio Grande looks to be a more unusual piece. It distinctively splits the song into two, although still having a very smooth transition in the middle. The first part is, well, i would put it as just a plain build up. Not anything too amazing considering all the build ups we’ve heard in the last few tracks. However, it is the second part which appeals to me more as I listen in wonder how these ordinary guys from Texas could come up with such wonderful lines that in essence are just a string of a few simple notes. And the even better thing is that the band is so good a making this single liner so excellent sounding as it mounts on more power.

They Move on the Tracks of Never-Ending Light is another of one my favourites. Not much of a power to this song, but it is a really beautiful piece as I could tell the effort from the guitar lines to make a very emotionally charged piece played merely out of the guitars. As the song progresses, the band puts in the electronics, to give a slight beat and feel to the song. Just enough to not call it a distasteful use of electronic music. It is one of those songs that you would just love to listen and reflect upon the day with.

I wouldn’t call the most amazing end to an album but the last track Burial on the Presidio Banks makes the cut as a song that makes you nod your head in agreement to a song well done. Done again in a story telling fashion, the song takes a skillful combination of lines and progressions, coupled with crazy delay effects to create that ghostly feel of the song, yet preserving a soothing, calming emotion that later erupts into a climatic and powerful end line.

All in all, the album is a testament to the quality of music these guys from TWDY are capable of.  The music I would say is rough, very rough. I could almost call it wild. But it packs finesse at the very same time. It is the ability to balance both these aspects that are what’s most appealing to me for a band playing this genre. Do take a listen to them and judge for yourselves!

Treachery? This is War!

Let me bring you first through a lesson. 27th of February 1933, the place of power and decision, the symbol of German Democracy and considered an important political tool for all modern democracies was razed to the ground. The Reichstag Fire, also known as Der Reichstagsbrand was a pivotal moment in modern German history.

Allegedly, the building was an attack on the values and rights of the free German state, masterminded by the German Communist Party. After much trials and “investigations”, the KPD was found guilty of sabotage and treason.

Seeing as all chaos reigned in Germany, with an on going Communist “threat”, then Chancellor, Adolf Hitler had sought President Paul Von Hindenburg to pass an emergency decree to counter the “ruthless confrontation of the Communist Party of  Germany”. As such, emergency powers were passed in full command of Germany to one man, the Chancellor, Adolf Hitler himself. Of course coupled with the removal of civil liberties of the German People and the mass arrests of the Communist “enemy of the state”.

Of course, it doesn’t take a genius to know what exactly was going on. A Nazi conspiracy yes. Like the many other dozens of dictators after Adolf Hitler, underhanded means are used, claiming a state of emergency being one of the most effective means. The dictator comes as the “hero” of the state, and then goes on to victimize his competitors, puts them down for their own personal gain, steps over their heads and even makes use of their resources to ensure the ultimate shame upon them. Alas, he takes “rightful” rule of his state while his opponents don’t even stand a fighting chance.

The world has seen no short of such people, be it having such a massive political upheavals, or just the small everyday rivalries between people. There’s always that bastard, the cunt that plays it really dirty. The one who seeks to destroy others for his personal gain. Worse still, some do it with a smile across the face. People start to think they are the innocent ones, the one who is charismatic, attractive and get sucked in to their words and actions.

I don’t give two hoots to people who cannot sustain their honour, uphold morals and values for the sake of themselves, this is plain disgusting and I would love to see one day the rid of people who carry out their treacherous deeds in the guise of goodness.

I spit upon them.

Yippideedooda, Yippideedaee.

How quick isn’t it. Guess the people whom I talked to were right. It was excruciatingly drawn out before the exams. But wow, in a blink of an eye. I only have one more paper left. Although its on the 1st of December, which is in my opinion both a blessing and a curse. Depending on how I use these 2 weeks.

Guess I can take a short breather for a while before I hit the books as much as I can.

Gosh, I didn’t know that I had lost so much weight. I got so bored, so I just tried on my No.4 for size. Turns out that it was so grossly over-sized for me! The arms especially, it used to fit well, but now its just plain big and loose. Guess all the studying caused the loss of weight huh. That’s why I lost so much weight in my upper body ‘cus its near the brain but my ass is still as big as ever.

I’m Pear Shaped.

EPIPHANY!

Er, call me bored but I just had thought about it in the shower just now and started to burst out in laughter. So, pardon me.

Uh yeah! I figured that despite all this talk about male masculinity and macho-ism, the most depressing and saddening thing is probably the fact that we have something called the penis. LOOK AT THE WORD. Doesn’t it look pathetic right from the start?

penis Penis PENIS PENIS PENIS!!!

PEEEEE- NEEEESE!

All the masculinity just dissapears in an instant! Ain’t that the saddest official name for a sexual organ?

I mean, come on!!! Try even the other names! Weener, Johnson, little brother, pee wee. Gosh! Ain’t that the saddest official name for a sexual organ?

Look at the word again! (PENIS) And compare it with our female counterpart, the VAGINA!

Doesn’t the word VAGINA look 10,000 times more majestic and fitting for any self-respecting part of the body?

I can even tell you, if Vagina was a country, it would look like this:

And little yellow there, is penisland. Like an effing disneyland.

How pathetic is that? Come on man, even if you said, “I have a big penis”, IT STILL SOUNDS PATHETIC. Needless to say for a small penis.

If you said ” I have a small vagina” It still looks respectable. Like a small but powerful state.

I envy them girls for a nice name.

Leap of Faith!

I hope I never ever have to do this again. I never had put in so much shit for something which i find so stupid. Maybe I will give it a shot, a chance. Something that would make a difference hopefully? Lets finally see how effort and hard work translates into results.

Goodbye.

For now.

Listening to,

Explosions in the Sky’s 2003 release, ” The Earth is not a Cold Dead Place”.

Arguably, this may be one of EITS’s most recognizable album. With rave reviews and resounding requests from various commercial companies to use their tracks on the advertisements, its not surprising to turn on your television and find yourself listening to an EITS track.

Among other albums, this one seems to seek the innermost emotions of listeners. It contrasts heart warming guitar lines with climatic and epic bursts of dynamism, therefore creating a feel that is strangely similar and yet different in style that is unique to EITS.

The opening track, “First Breath After Coma” seems to be exactly what it says. The opening line uses guitars to imitate the beeps of an ECG machine, where bass drums pump the song to life. Thereafter, you can almost feel as if the whole song were a person, with countless emotions, experiences coming back to his consciousness as the song builds. And in one instance, the song bursts into life, where you can imagine the persona takes his first breath and everything starts coming back like how the frozen rivers start to flow and fauna blooms into beauty. I don’t quite know how to take the second part of the song though, its as if the persona seeks to cope with his new found consciousness, trying to weigh out the polarities this “gift/curse”. Seemingly, the song falls into a pit of decision where he/she decides whether to remain awake or not, to the mystery of the listener.

Some of EITS’s tracks put the listener into a mood of thought or comprehension. The track, “The Only Moment We Were Alone” is such a piece. As moods of deep thought come as a start to the track, with dots of “eureka” along those lines, confidence starts to build up into innovation. You can almost start wondering whether this song could be used as a soundtrack in scientific biographies for maybe, Sigmund Freud or a black and white films for Albert Einstein during their emergence from the darkest days of mental blocks to their greatness of current times. As crescendo contrasts with decrescendo throughout the song, we see the likeness of this to each and everyone’s lives as we know it.

The smoothest flow I have heard in a while, the previous song seamlessly flows into the next song “Six Days at the Bottom of the Ocean” almost like a true symphonic repertoire. The line at the start is hard to come to terms with. With every line, there appears to be happiness and comfort, yet worrisome thoughts for accompaniment. The climax of the song flows together with the initial line and lets it go into this quiet, weird bizarre twist of emotions using a single guitar with a few notes doting the track in a haunting delay effect. Only skillful and adventurous song writing can allow such a aural journey as the track brings the listener into.

Exotic choice of notes for a guitar line for the beginning of the song “Memorial”. Its almost middle eastern or Egyptian in nature. The song goes into this trance like nature. Peaceful and alluring. I love songs that bring you into this mood of flight. Its like Peter Pan once again, but only better with a cool soundtrack such as this!

Probably the most heard, most played, most covered and the most popular track of the album and possibly the band. The ending track, “Your Hand in Mine” is quoted to be EITS’s attempt at writing a love song. And how true is that! You can almost feel that everything is right with this song as comforting lines fall semblance to lovers in the sunset. The initial tune of the song can ring in your head for days and probably not wear off anytime soon. The transference into a more energetic feel later does not take away the original meaning of the song but adds on a layer of gusto to be tapered back into refreshing, quiet lines.

Overall, the band’s unique approach to songwriting without the need for fancy electronics and crazy time notations examplifies their expertise in the field just by using the basic guitar and drums. They seem to know exactly how to hit right deep into what you wanted all along for a song but did not know how to express it. The album is a beautiful companion to all that is to life, be it smiles, frowns or tears.